And The Winner Is . . .

After several hours of research, many thought provoking questions, in depth agency interviews, we have come to the decision of who to hand our dream over to. A Gift of Hope Adoptions in Columbia, MO. www.agiftofhopeadoption.com There are several reasons why our heart led us to them – we’ll share just a few. First, they are a small, local, full service, adoption agency. And of course, that comes with a good amount of benefits and some negatives.


We really fell in love with the very positive feedback we have heard from prior clients of AGOHA. They are very focused on making the adoption experience a positive and smooth process for both the adoptive family and the birth family. As we are learning, it is just as vital that the birth mother is secure and confident in her decision as it is to support and assist the adoptive family in the matching and transition.

Secondly, the principal and owner of AGOHA is a licensed adoption attorney. This is good. When going through such a legal and complicated process as adoption, you want to have an attorney who knows specifically about adoption laws and even better, adoption laws in your particular state. AGOHA is very much a family focused agency. As I said earlier, they are small with not many employees. In fact one of the licensed social workers that works for them and will be doing our home study is the owners daughter.  We have heard only very wonderful things about her. Aside from being extremely helpful and warm through the whole process, she also has a Masters in social work from Washington University in St. Louis. Another bonus of having such experienced and dedicated staff is the fact that she will counsel the birth mother prior to and possibly after the birth. Again, you want a very experienced social worker to handle such a delicate and sensitive issue.

Now on to the juicy stuff I know you are all wondering about, (because I know I’d be wondering too) Boy or girl – infant or toddler – from another country or US - timeframe? I read your minds. As you can imagine, quite a bit of the process we will have little or no control over, although we do have final say on some things. AGOHA is very good about the fact that they will present us with various situations and then we can decide if it’s a good fit for our family. After much soul-searching we have decided a few things.

Boy or girl? We would be over the moon excited with either or both (more on that below).  And the fun part is whichever one we are blessed with, just means we may have another to even out the numbers right? ;-) Infant or toddler? We have requested to be matched with a birth mother in hopes of having the child from birth. Abroad or US? We are only pursuing an infant from the United States. AGOHA deals mostly with birth moms from the Midwest, so chances are our child will come from that area. Timeframe?

Well this leads into a quick summary of the entire process. We are at the tail end of filling out the 40-page application. Once that is completed and received by AGOHA, we will be contacted to schedule our home study and start on our marketing profile. The home study takes about 8 weeks to be approved and when the marketing profile is completed and ready to go, we are officially active. This means at any point going forward, we could be picked by a birth mother. Wow. AGOHA deals with birth moms at all stages of their pregnancy. This is good and bad. Good because you get to be part of the pregnancy the whole way, bad because it is that much more heartbreaking if the birth mom changes her mind at the end. This is a possibility that we will be preparing ourselves for. However, we are choosing to look at the positives and will deal with that issue if it comes up. Back to the original question of timeframe. We could have a child as early as this summer or as late as next summer.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I like to be prepared for all things. I know – you are all shocked. So, we will have as much ready to go as we can prior to baby Lutes arrival. And you can be sure, we’ll keep you posted along the way :-)

As a little sidenote, we are open to twins and possible sibling groups. This means the birth mom is pregnant and is giving up her unborn child as well as a toddler that she has. This is rare so we are not expecting it to happen, but we are going to stay as open as we can to most situations. Plus - Instant made family! Just add milk, sleepless nights, a pinch of a dirty diaper or two (eww) and bang Instant Lutes Family of Three, or Four, or . . .

Thanks for letting us share. It feels really good to be making large steps into this long process. Upcoming steps – locating a pediatrician (think we have one picked out), looking at day cares, checking into adoption benefits through work, and picking out nursery furniture. 

Couple of books we are reading and recommend: Adoption is a family affair! What relatives and friends must know by Patricia Irwin Johnston and In On It: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption by Elizabeth O’Toole. These are wonderful quick reads that have so much info for family and friends. Check out our new agency. They have posted lots of good information regarding adoption, resources and general info. www.agiftofhopeadoption.com.

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